Landing in my Forties (And What I’ve Learned From My Thirties)
40th Birthday Celebration
I just turned 40 and I have to say, I feel pretty great. I feel like my skin fits, wrinkles, freckles and all. My thoughts, feelings and aspirations all make sense to me. I feel confident. I am trusting. I know everything I need I have inside me and around me. I feel so much gratitude for the people, the places and the things I’ve experienced in my life so far and for all the parts of me that brought me here.
I can see my 30’s down the path just behind me. They were tough. I wasn’t sure I was going to make it through some parts. I didn’t see it then, but I see now the courage this past decade required of me. Marriage, building a home, raising my son, small island living, separation and divorce, learning to love again and letting love go, starting and ending businesses, my mom’s cancer diagnosis, her journey, her passing, loss and grief.
In the last 10 years I have loved so deeply, and I have also learned to let love go. I have learned that silence is better than reactivity and to be patient (so patient), especially in times I really don’t want to be. I have learned to get still and quiet and just listen when I need answers. I have learned to put what matters to me the most in the forefront of my life and get really honest with myself about what matters and what doesn’t. In losing my mother, I’ve learned that life can be short so we had better live it well and with our whole heart. It’s better to loosen my grip on life and let go of the parts I can’t control. Through all of it I have learned to love - even more deeply - the friends and family that matter the most to me.
Mom with her girls, 2019
My whole heart, Lucas
Family visits up North, Ontario Canada
Visits and Island Trekking with Dad
Turning forty marks a right of passage for me - as if I’m finally stepping into adulthood. I can wholly be myself, I am proud of who I am and grateful for where I’ve been. As I close out this last decade and invite in a new one, I’d like to share the pieces of wisdom that I will carry forward. Wisdom, I have found, is there all along, but our perspective, life experience and the timing of things is what allows us to receive it.
WISDOM RECEIVED IN MY THIRTIES:
We see the world not as it is but as we are
Be still and know - learning to get still and listen inward when I need answers
Patience is the antidote to all life’s stress - learning to zoom out in moments of urgency
Fear and doubt are the gatekeepers of growth - changing my perspective on doubt as a marker for new growth
Healthy relationships require self awareness, boundaries, trust, love, care, respect
I can say “NO” without explanation
Impressions (memories we hold on to, good or bad) and attachments (people, things, thoughts and feelings we hold on to, good or bad) - learning to let life pass through me
Equanimity - finding balance in each moment
Family, friendship, community and connection - nurturing relationships important to me
Listen, and keep listening
Self Love and self care - connecting to my truth and nurturing my garden
When I find myself white knuckling life, the solution is in loosening my grip
Compassion, empathy and understanding for myself and others - we are all expressions of ONE
Giving and sharing with a pure heart makes the world a better place
The lessons are everywhere
Love whatever I am doing, and do it with my whole heart
Lot’s of love and light to you all. I’m looking forward to all that life has in store for my forties!
Xoxo
Lindsay
